


Interview

by bluebellofbakerstreet



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AU, BandLock, Fanart, Implied Mystrade, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Mention of past suicidal ideation, Most of these characters are mentioned only in passing, Punklock, Really just an excuse to string fanart together, mention of past drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 13:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19906465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebellofbakerstreet/pseuds/bluebellofbakerstreet
Summary: What’s better than John Watson and Sherlock Holmes in a punk band?  John Watson and Sherlock Holmes on the cover of the Rolling Stone, and giving an interview.Really just an excuse to put all my punklock drawings together.





	1. Interview

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 2 is a text-only version, for easier reading.
> 
> Many, many thanks to iwantthatcoat and anyawen for Very Helpful beta reading.

  


  
  
  
  
  



	2. Interview (Text Only)

**Punk’s Power Couple**

Rolling Stone Interviews

Chemical Defect’s John Watson and Sherlock Holmes

by BluebellofBakerStreet

**C** hemical Defect is on a roll. Their latest album is climbing the charts. Their recent tour was sold out. They are a definite presence on both radio and MTV.

They have more than arrived.

The London-based band is made up of an interesting collection of distinct individuals - and every fan has a favorite. Watch each of them onstage, and you’ll get a feel for their particular personalities.

If your eye is attracted to motion, you’ll notice Greg Lestrade first, as he energetically bounds across the stage. If the crowd shouts his name - which they love to do - he will grin cheekily and wink at them, or make suggestive gestures, to the delighted squeals of his fans.

Next would be Mad Molly Hooper, who might skip across and plunk down with her Doc Martens dangling over the edge of the stage. Looking up through her purple fringe, the deceptively sweet-looking gamine offers a deranged smile before launching into a sizzling riff.

At a more sedate pace, you will see Sally Donovan stride through. She wields her bass like a weapon, and her haughty glower dares anyone to question her.

More than her equal in the haughty glowering department is Sherlock Holmes, as he strutts like a high-fashion model, looking through you with a laser-like gaze that you’re pretty sure has seen into your soul - and found it devoid of interest.

It’s likely that the last you’ll notice is John Watson, sitting in the back behind the drum kit, more thancontent to let the others take the focus. But when he does step to the fore, it’s with a swagger and a dangerous smile that makes you think that maybe you should have noticed him sooner.

Offstage none of the band members spend much time in the spotlight, preferring to let the music speak for itself, but in exchange for a donation to a homeless fund and a promise not to ask “too many stupid questions,” we did manage to convince two of them to sit for an interview.

In a quiet cafe in central London we met with the famously private duo who form the backbone of the band: lead guitarist Sherlock Holmes and drummer John Watson.

**Do you all get along?**

Holmes: _Obviously._

Watson: _Well, yeah, I mean you can’t easily make three albums with people you hate. I mean, we have our squabbles, and Sally and Sherlock never tire of calling each other names, but we work well together. We respect each other as musicians, we like each other as people, we put up with each other’s moods. And, you know, we all seem to be headed in the same direction musically, if that makes sense._

Holmes: _That’s what I said._

The music is the thing, though isn’t it? And there has been plenty of it. Three rich albums in fouryears showing not only quantity, but a depth and variety that is unusual from any band. And how do we label it? Is it still truly punk, or is it more properly called post punk, or new wave, or alt rock? Does it matter?

**Your style varies quite a bit from album to album and song to song. Different rhythms, different elements. Not many bands include violin solos.**

Holmes: _Maybe they should. Why would we want everything to sound the same? That would be unspeakably dull._

**How would you respond to Jim Moriarty’s comments that you’ve “sold out” and “gone commercial?”**

Watson: _Do we need to respond?_

**Is there any validity in his statement?**

Watson: _We make the music we want to make. If someone else doesn’t think that we’re conforming to whatever their definition of whatever they think we should be, then that’s not really our problem, is it? I mean, we’re not doing this in the hope of making Jim Moriarty happy, are we?_

Holmes: _God, no._

Watson: _If somebody doesn’t like our stuff, they can go listen to something else, yeah? I mean there’s plenty out there to choose from._

**Plenty of people must still be choosing to listen to your stuff, if album sales are any indication.**

Watson: _We’re not complaining._

**Has success changed your lives?**

Watson: _Well, sure, it’s nice not worrying about having enough to pay the rent._

**Any extravagances?**

Watson: _We’re not exactly living the rock star high life. We did buy a flat - so that’s good. But not so much with the, you know, getting wasted and driving expensive cars into swimming pools. When we’re not touring or rehearsing or recording or writing, we stay home and eat too much take away. That’s our extravagance_ _._

Holmes: _John has a troublesome tea addiction._

Watson: _And you’re hooked on chocolate biscuits._

It’s not uncommon to compare Chemical Defect with Jim Moriarty’s band, Chaos. They have an overlapping fanbase, similar roots, and both bands embrace a very punk anti-authoritarian discontent. But they’re not quite the same. With Moriarty’s lyrics you get not so much a sharp-edged blade of social critique as an incendiary bomb of nihilism. You really get the feeling that Jim Moriarty would like to see the world burn.

But with lyrics by Watson or Holmes there is a difference. It is certainly clear that the writers have seen the dark heart of human nature, but they have seen light as well - they’ve seen hope. There is a sense that there are things in this world that are worth protecting and worth striving for.

Holmes’ songs reflect a cerebral existential disaffection. Songs like “Everyone’s an Idiot” and “Thanks for Your Opinion” are scathing condemnations of human fallibility, but “On the Losing Side” and “Human Error,” though they seem just as biting, are really gut-wrenching odes to the pain of love. His music is layered and complex - unusually so - which reflects Holmes’ classical training.

**You come from rather privileged academic background. Were your parents disappointed when you dropped out of Cambridge?**

Holmes: _Undoubtedly._

**Do they disapprove of your chosen career?**

Holmes: _They’ve never said so. I am frequently told that I should call home more. But they do like the postcards from abroad._

**That sounds refreshingly normal. But chocolate biscuits aside, you have struggled with addiction in the past. That must have been hard on your family.**

Holmes: _Why are we talking about this?_

**People are interested in what makes you who you are.**

Holmes: _Are they? Why?_

Watson: _They want to know that you’re human._

**Wasn’t it your older brother who arranged for your stay in rehab?**

Holmes: _Yes. He never hesitates to express disapproval for the things I do._

**Are you saying that rehab wasn’t necessary?**

Holmes: _Well, on balance I suppose it is better to be clean. Even a broken clock is sometimes right._

**He disapproves? Of your career? Your lifestyle? Your friends?**

Holmes: _Yes. He disapproves of everything I do._

Watson: _He disapproves a lot less since he met Greg._

Holmes: _Oh, God._

**It was just after rehab, wasn’t it, that the band was formed?**

Holmes: _Well, returning to school was not an option, and I had to find something to do to keep my sanity. Music’s always been a good way for me to quiet the noise in my head. So I used to go and jam at a dive in Hackney. I met Lestrade there. Every time he played something he’d challenge me to play it better or faster or backwards or - something. It wasn’t boring._

**It doesn’t sound boring.**

Holmes: _We’d have guitar duels that lasted for ages while the crowd egged us on. Or threw things at us. Or both. Rough crowd._

**That led to the formation of Chemical Defect?**

Holmes: _He was the one who suggested we form a band. He already knew Molly and Sally._

**Your original drummer was Sebastian Wilkes. What precipitated his leaving the band?**

Holmes: _Creative differences. Personality clash. The fact that he was an annoying, entitled, half-witted whiner with no sense of rhythm._

**So it was a good thing he left the band?**

Holmes: _Yup._

**Are you still in contact? Is he still involved in music?**

Holmes: _No, he does something in the City. Something that involves wearing neckties and pushing other people’s money around. Suits him better._

**And how did you find your way into Chemical Defect?**

Watson: _I’d recently been invalided home from the army and I ran into an old friend from uni, yeah, Mike Stamford. We’d actually played a couple of gigs back in school._

**Another musician then?**

Watson: _Well, he was in uni. Now he runs a couple of clubs. He had this one, The Pig and Whistle. They’d had a band booked for the weekend, but their drummer had just quit._

**Let me guess.**

Watson: _Yeah, right. So here he is, trying to talk me into sitting in on a gig with a pack of strangers. I hadn’t been behind a kit in literal years. My life has just been turned upside down, no job, no money, I’m in pain, walking with a cane, I’ve got a tremor in my hand and a therapist who’s ready to write me off. And here Mike is, smiling, saying come on, nothing to it. Pretend like you’re eighteen again and the last ten years never happened. Said if nothing else, he’d buy me a drink. Said I had nothing to lose. And you know what? Fuck it. He was right. I had nothing to lose._

_So I went. And I walk into this club and there’s the band, this bunch of kids, sitting there, arguing, and they look up when I walk in. And this one, this tall arsehole here, he looks me up and down like I’m a horse at an auction._

**And what did he say?**

Watson: _Nothing. He just tossed me a pair of drumsticks. I caught them, and he says, “Good. Your injuries are at least partly psychosomatic. And you don’t have to stand to play the drums.” Next thing I knew I was sitting behind the kit in the middle of a set. And it all came back. It was, it really was just like riding a bicycle or falling off a log. Yeah, it was good._

Holmes: _Well, you’re not a complete idiot._

Watson: _And I look up, and all these kids, who looked so sullen and angry when I walked in, they were smiling. And Mike was smiling. And that was it. I was in the band before I knew its name, or any of their names. Before they knew my name._

**And you’ve never looked back.**

Watson: _No, why would I? Like I said, nothing to lose. Things weren’t good._

**“Gun in the Drawer.”**

Watson: _Yeah, yeah, exactly. When I wrote that I was talking about that time … that time before._

**A number of your songs have some very dark lyrics. “I Got Shot,” “He Wasn’t Very Nice,” and of course, “Nightmare.” Beautifully phrased, poetic even, but with haunting, harrowing images that hint at terrible things. Where’d those images come from?**

Watson: _Well, I’ve seen some shit._

**Yes, I expect that your service record speaks for itself, but does it go back farther than that? You grew up in urban Croydon. Word is that things were a bit turbulent. That your father wasn’t an easy man to get along with. Care to weigh in on that?**

Watson: _Nope._

**Not all of your songs are like that though. “You Machine” and “Good Deduction” are really old-fashioned wails about unrequited love.**

Watson: _Well, we’ve all been there, yeah?_

**And “Annoying Dick.” It’s really just a sweet, goofy love song disguised as a rant. Is it about anyone we’d know?**

Watson: _Can’t imagine why you’d think so._

**Does being in a committed relationship take the edge off of your music?**

Watson: _Maybe. A lot has changed in my life since I started writing music. I still have demons to wrestle with; I still get angry. So, that’s still in there. But, you know, it’s hard to write about anger and misery when you wake up happy every morning._

**What about you?**

Holmes: _I’m a sociopath. Nothing affects me._

Watson laughs so hard he spits out his tea **.**

Holmes: _You know, it’s hard for people to take me seriously when you do that._

Watson: _Sorry, genius.Your secret is safe with me._

**So, if you’re not a sociopath, does that mean we’ll get nothing but maudlin love songs from you in the future?**

Holmes: _Yes, with daisies and butterflies and rainbows._

Watson: _More like daisies and butterflies and blood-soaked pavement._

Holmes: _I like the sound of that._

Watson: _Of course you do._

**Do you have something you want to say through your music?**

Watson: _Well, it’s not always that deep. Sometimes it’s just about music, and sometimes it’s about screaming into the void, but yeah, sometimes we’ve got something that we want to say._

**Is that an important aspect of rock?**

Watson: _Well there’s nothing wrong with music, or whatever, that just makes you happy, that makes you feel good. But there’s also nothing wrong with making people think._

Holmes: _Nothing actually makes people think._

**So you think the world is worth saving?**

Watson: _Oh yeah. I mean, that’s kind of the point isn’t it? Leave the world a better place than you found it?_

**You want to do good in the world. What would you do if you weren’t making music? You were a doctor in the army.Would you go back to medicine?**

Watson: _I suppose I could. I was good, and things are healed up now to the point where my hand’s not shaking anymore. The army was a good fit for_ _me. When things were happening, you’d live on adrenaline and coffee, making decisions on the fly. Everything felt like it mattered._

**You made a difference.**

Watson: _I guess so, yeah._

**I assume that the army is no longer an option, but what about civilian medicine? Is that something you would ever go back to?**

Watson: _Maybe, I don’t know. There’s a lot about it that I miss. But, well - someone once told me that I was a good doctor but a lousy employee. Hospitals might be reluctant to hire a tattooed, overaged punk who oversleeps and hates filling out paperwork. But, maybe…Maybe. I don’t know._

**And you nearly completed a degree in chemistry. What would you do if you weren’t** **making music? I can see you as some kind of a mad scientist.**

Holmes: _Better living through chemistry? I’ve tried that. It had a downside._

**Something else then?**

Holmes: _Unsolved crimes._

**I’m sorry?**

Holmes: _There are so many instances when the police are out of their depth. Crimes go unsolved and criminals unpunished. They’re in the papers every day. I could help there. Look at the evidence. Make connections they miss._

**How would you do that?**

Holmes: _The same way that I can tell that you had coffee and a croissant for breakfast, that you played tennis in school, that you own an Alsatian dog, that whilst your wife is out of town . . ._

Watson: _Sherlock._

Holmes: _What? Oh.Right._

**How do you know all of that?**

Holmes: _I observe.Breakfast was easy; you’re using the receipt for a bookmark. Tennis is suggested by the way you gingerly carry your right elbow. Old injury, though, the lack of muscle tone there shows that you haven’t played in several years. You have dog hair on your jeans; the color and location suggest the breed, also the mud on your cuff and the fact that you still have a mark on your hand from the leash indicate that it’s a very energetic dog and that you walked him this morning. Your wife is better at controlling him._

**That’s unsettling.**

Watson: _But accurate?_

**Yeah.**

Watson; _He’s always like that._

A **nd you could use your, erm, observations to investigate crimes?You want to bring the bad guys to justice?**

Holmes: _I suppose you could put it that way._

Watson: _Hmm, maybe I could be Robin to your Batman. No tights though._

Holmes: _My what?_

Watson: _Yeah, I could follow you around and hold your magnifying glass and tell you how brilliant you are. You’d like that. Seriously, though, tracking down bad guys - could be dangerous. You could use someone backing you up who’s good in a fight._

Holmes: _Hmm. You have seen a bit of trouble. And your medical knowledge might come in handy. I suppose you could be nominally useful._

**So that’s it then? If your next album tanks, you’ll become a crime fighting duo keeping London safe from serial killers and criminal masterminds?**

Watson: _Sounds about right._

**Holmes and Watson, an unstoppable duo**.

Watson: _There’s always two of us._

Holmes: _Obviously._


End file.
